Static
by ahsokanerd
Summary: Forgetting what we've done may seem like a blessing for a few. For others, it's just a silent form of suffering. [One-shot.]


Static

24 BBY

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><p>I am polluted; I am in a state of uncleanliness that cannot be changed. My heart is in pain, my body has been broken, my mind is confused, and my life is bleeding away as I lie naked upon the dirty ground.<p>

A hand takes mine and clasps it firmly. I can't move away. I can't move my hand. I stay still, but mind mind and my eyes do not. I look up in fear, as I'm unsure of who or what would come here, to this place that will become my open grave.

My static face gives nothing away as I look into a pair of brown eyes, full of concern. I can instantly see that she's a Human when she kneels beside me. I've never seen one in person before, but I've seen pictures. They're odd. Tiny little strands of this thing called hair comes out of the top of their heads, and the have no lekku at the back of their heads like my people do. If I could, I'd ask her if I could feel her head now. But there's no use. Even if I could move or make a noise with my throat, I still wouldn't ask. I would scream. Scream with all my might. Scream for all that has been done to me.

"Hi." She sounds guilty, oddly enough, and gives me a smile. I wish I could return it. I didn't know Humans cared about Twi'leks like me, especially those like me. This girl did care. I can tell. You see, not many people have ever cared for me, so when someone does, I know. Her willingness to care make me happy, for some reason. Oh, and

"Cayley, it's me, Khalifa," she tells me, taking off her robe. She covers me with it, leaving only my head, neck, and feet exposed. It feels soft compared to the ground, though I know it would be considered a rough material anywhere else. Perhaps this is my body bag and my death bed, rolled into one. Oh, and who's this Cayley? Should I know her?

Khalifa moves forward, and tilts her head to the side, looking at the back of my head and neck. In the evening light, I can see her face as it drains of all color. "Oh," she whispers, as though she is speaking to herself, "that explains a lot." She sighs, then looks at my face hopefully. "Hey, could you blink twice really fast if you can hear me?"

Yes, I can hear her. Her voice is all that I know. I blink twice as fast as I can. Relief washes over Khalifa's face when I have finished. "Well that's good," she says. Then she frowns. "Do you remember me?"

I don't blink. I don't know this Human girl. She's the first Human I've ever met. I wonder if I've seen a Twi'lek like me before, and I start thinking. I remember. My daddy's sad face as he lay dying. My mother's tears. After that, I was alone. Then there was that one man. He was my first customer. And then the others. There were lots of others. Years passed by, and then there was this moment where I heard something strange. A low animalistic rumble. And then pain. Lots and lots of pain.

Khalifa's face fell. "Shit." She buries her face in her hands and stifled a sob. "We were best friends, Cayley. We were going to escape together." She let's lose another sob. I feel bad for her, but I don't know why she's saying this. How could I forget someone being kind? Nobody is kind to me. She's sobbing hysterically now, and she says, "I-it's all my fault you f-fell. A-and now you d-don't remember."

Of course, I say nothing.

"Khalifa!" A new voice calls out. "Where are you? Come on, we need to go!"

She looks up. "I'm over h-here," Khalifa calls out weakly. "I've found Cayley. She's alive, b-but..."

Someone's feet hit the ground, and I hear them walk closer, though they do so softly. I soon find myself looking at a green-skinned Twi'lek. it's good to see one of my own, even if he is a boy. "Follow my finger with your eyes," he instructs me. He holds up a finger and moves it up, then down, then to the side. I follow his finger diligently as he zig-zags his finger in the air. "Well, that answers that question," he said. "Now, close your eyes for three seconds if you remember your name."

I leave my eyes open, and the boy groans. "How could she have forgotten? She's probably just broken her spine or something. If we carry her away from here, we can wait for medical assistance from the Jedi when they realize-"

"Jinx, just stop it, please, stop," Khalifa says, sniffing and wiping her eyes. Jinx? Is that his name? It must be. "Look at the back of her head."

Jinx frowns, and I watch as he tilts his head to look at the back of my head. Just like Khalifa, his eyes widen, and then he moves backwards in shock. "Oh my god," he says, "her lekku! They've… they've been crushed! And her head…"

My lekku have been crushed? That doesn't make any sense, I think. I hurt all over. Everywhere. I just have a headache or something in my head. And I can't move, so that has to be my spine. It must be. I look back at Khalifa now. She's sobbing hysterically again. Jinx seems determined about something when he puts a hand on her shoulder. "You know what I have to do," he says. She nods. "You can go. Run back to the group, and tell them. I'll be back as soon as can."

Khalifa nods again, then gets up on her feet and scurries away. I watch her go, feeling sad. She was nice. At the last moment, I see her leap into the air and onto a tree limb, and then she disappears from sight. That was a high jump. I wish I could do that. Somehow, I know I've always wanted to do that. Perhaps I will, when I am gone.

I'm forced to look away from the trees when I see the boy looking down at me again. He's trying to be strong, I can tell, but a tear is rolling down his cheek. Why is he sad? Is he sad that I'm here, dying? I might as well be dead. I am nothing. I want to tell him that I am not worth his tears. But of course, I don't, and he continues to let tears roll down his face.

"Goodbye, Cayley," he says, his voice cracking. He waves his hand in front of my face. "It's time for you to go to sleep."

I feel tired, and I let the feeling grow. I'm done with this life. I don't want to be stuck in this static and unmoving body. It's a prison. I know what he's going to do. My eyes roll back into my head, and the world goes dark. I embrace the nothingness. I let it consume me. There's this sharp and painful feeling in my chest. I'm thankful for it. And then it's over.

My spirit is free.

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><p><strong>AhsokaNerd's Corner<strong>

Khalifa mentioned in "Padawan Lost" that "there were others" who thought like Ahsoka. It seemed very personal to her, as if it had affected the way she acted. This story is about one of those individuals, Cayley. I don't know if you picked up on it, but she was a prostitute as a child. No, she's not a Force-sensitive, but she got to know the group of Jedi Younglings and became friends with them in my head-canon. After a failed attempt to hijack a pod, she was flung into the air, and fell. The damage to her lekku erased the last few years of her life from her memory, while a sharp object entered her brain, immobilizing her, but keeping her awake (for a time). Scientifically, it is possible to die this way.

I've never written in first-person before, at least successfully. I tried in one of the first chapters of Alien, and it sucked a lot. I wrote this as an experiment, as I was interested in making something in first-person that wasn't terrible. I think I succeeded.

If you're wondering, yes, this is canon in my universe.

May the Force be with you, and please leave a review!

- AhsokaNerd


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